Alone in Bed

A few weeks ago a friend of mine told me that you can witness a person’s true personality in the morning. The reasoning is that the mornings for most people are like a dawn of purity. When your mind first becomes aware in those brief initial moments of birth from sleep, you are authentic and unadulterated. No stress of any kind, be it physical or mental, is affecting your body or mind; it becomes as if you are existing above the threshold of consciousness.

I’ve been pondering this thought for quite some time now, and I’ve realized that I don’t know who I am in the morning. In a sense this means that I don’t know who I am at my most pristine.

Let me explain. I usually wake up either when all my roommates have already left the apartment or before they get up. Essentially, every day I wake up alone. Because I’m never interacting with anyone, I never have reason to speak, and so I have no voice. Because I have no voice, I have very little to interpret, and because of this, I don’t know who I am in the morning.  Following me?

Sure, I could analyze how I react to events upon waking up, but there are issues with that. When I wake up on my own accord, my room is quiet and serene, and I am usually calm. If I am immediately presented with some kind of issue that I have to deal with, then the effect is completely lost, as stress will take hold of my conscious and I will begin to operate as I normally do in a state of full awake-ness.

At the same time, I could take a look at my body language and try to extrapolate some kind of evidence from that. The problem there is that I don’t really move around a lot when I first wake up. I either just lay in bed without moving, or I’ll sit upright and maybe look out the window. There’s not a whole lot I can tell from that, other than that I’m usually very calm.

Knowing that I am calm is one thing, but what intrigues me most is what sort of things would I say in those early stages of consciousness. I want to have human to human contact with someone. I want to have a conversation with someone else who is in that same quasi-reality that I would be experiencing. I want to have a completely pure connection… I feel like it would be very liberating to share a moment in time like that with someone. A deep connection on a level that transcends dreams and reality.

What do you guys think about this? Do you think that human interaction signifies identity at all? Or do you think it’s possible to know who you are without that bond?

What about this idea of your morning self representing your real personality? Do you think that holds any truth to it?

Questions, questions, questions. Anyways, until next time, stay classy.

Discombobulation

There I was, sitting down at my desk with Kanye West's "Runaway" before me. The first thing that crossed my mind was "this is 34 minutes long, and there is no chance I'm watching all of it. Sorry Kanye, I don't like you that much". Oddly enough, once I started watching, I couldn't stop; it felt like some kind of bizarre romance.

By the time I finished the movie, all I felt was confusion. I felt like someone flipped my brain upside down. Never have I watched a movie and felt indecisiveness of such magnitude. My friends asked me what I thought of it, and I was (and still am) at a loss. Runaway is indescribable, you're just going to have to see for yourself.

The only thing I can say about Runaway is that Kanye is deserving of my respect. I'm not crazy about his music in general, but he has this nonchalant stride through the industry that says "I'm going to do whatever the hell I want and you can't stop me," and I feel that entitles him to some acknowledgement. His lyrics are blunt/vulgar in a peculiarly intelligent way, and his imagery is controversial and insane, but in the end Kanye is making a statement, which is exactly what he set out to do.

If you haven't watched Runaway, here's the link:

http://www.vevo.com/watch/kanye-west/runaway-full-length-film/USUV71002509

Stay classy