That's what one of my friends said to me the other day. When they said it, it startled me a little bit, but I didn't really give it much thought at the time. Today, however, that statement crossed my mind again, and I just can't grasp the concept that I might still be a "kid".I'm still spontaneous, still enjoy playing games, and still act goofy - just like I used to back when I was younger. But there's more to it now. I'm more mature and independent. I've been in love and I've been heartbroken. I've been exposed to the reality of adulthood. The world has boiled down from black and white to being represented by a million shades of grey.
How can I still be a kid when I am no longer innocent?
Innocence is in the eye of the beholder. Childhood only ends when you say it has. Independence does not equal adulthood. Adulthood is only defined by our society, be the adult YOU want to be, not the one everyone else expects of you.
ReplyDeleteYou have profound words, Anony
ReplyDeleteSo then I guess the question is, do I want to hold onto my childhood, or should I move on into adulthood? Is it possible to maintain both? Would that make me a conflicted?
But also, the naiveness that I held during my childhood can never be refabricated or retrieved. So in that sense my innocence is definitely gone. I just don't know if that's something I should be sad about.
ReplyDeleteNativity shouldn't be recaptured. From nativity comes wisdom and knowledge, a cycle that will always happen and should be embraced. There will always be new aspects of life that you will be naïve to as well. Try not to set up the values of “childhood” and “adulthood”. Like you said yourself, “The world has boiled down from black and white to being represented by a million shades of grey”. There is no transition, no conversion, no change of being. You are still Matt Pennisi whether you are 5 or 25. You are merely growing and learning and seem to emerge into this huge change only because your role in society dictates it so. This societal change doesn’t mean you must conform either.
ReplyDeleteThat's all true, but there's still something to be said about being blissfully unaware of the world around you. It's an entirely different perspective which in a way seems like it would be refreshing.
ReplyDeleteI will always be me, that's for sure - but during my lifetime I will take on different forms and dawn on different personalities. I'm just somewhat sad to see some of these former shells fade away into the past. It kind of feels like losing a friend
Who are you btw???
I completely understand the feeling of remorse when you see a form fade away. To put it better, I would compare it to playing a video game you loved as a kid. Playing the game again brings back fond memories, but they will never be the same when compared to the first time you played it. It ok to feel this way about things and it just shows how meaningful they were to you if you feel sad about them. Yes, it is refreshing to not be unaware of society, but more happily independent from it. Try it sometime.
ReplyDeleteI think this online relationship would benefit most if you were kept ignorant as to whom I am.
Ha, a situation in which ignorance is more valued than knowledge
ReplyDelete