Sometimes, it's about intimidation

A thought has been trapezing through my head recently, and I feel compelled to write about it.  What I've been pondering on is the role that intimidation has played in my collegiate career.  I, like most people, do not enjoy the feeling of being intimidated; however, I feel as though it has played a significant role in developing some of my beneficial attributes.

Back when my transfer into business school was accepted, I had no idea what I was doing.  Since I gained admittance halfway through the academic school year, I was pretty much cast off on my own to figure things out.  There was no orientation program, no email telling me who my advisors were, and most importantly, no congratulatory business padfolio to welcome me into the school (I had to buy one myself, and I feel that I'm entitled to a $20 reimbursement, SUNY Binghamton).

So there I was, a fresh, willing, ambitious business student with no guidance (or at least no idea where to start first).  My email account was getting swarmed with business listserv messages and I hadn't the faintest idea on how to piece it all together.  In retrospect, I realize that all I had to do was sit down and read the emails, but I was intimidated by the seemingly chaotic nature of my new life.  I would pretend that these emails didn't pertain to me, and I'd delete them all.  I used to see people, other students, dressed up in business attire, going to the job fairs/presentations on campus to make some lasting first impressions.  I'd lie to myself and say that it wasn't time for me to worry about getting a job or making myself known.

I was scared.

I was intimidated by all these people, clad in their tie bar and cuff link armor, ready to get their feet in the door and then punch it off it's hinges.  These people were my competition for a job, and I didn't want to compete.  All I wanted to do was curl up into a corner and let Goliath just beat the shit out of David.  I was crippled by shame.

Then something changed.  It was as if a switch flipped inside me and all my fear was abandoned.  It was time to go out and face this challenge that was presented to me.  It wasn't even so much about finally competing for a job; it was about going out and learning for myself what it was that I had to do to succeed.  I started forcing myself to go out to  resume workshops, firm presentations and job fairs.  And you know what?  Before I knew it, I was a confident student who was competent in business literacy and etiquette.

I don't know what changed me exactly, but I think it might be that I realized that my fear was irrational.  So then my question is, would I have ended up where I am if my intimidation was never present?  I'm not so sure that I would.  In this case, my intimidation was a driving force to the development of my courage and overall maturation.  I feel as though my fear helped foster my desire to overcome any challenge that had the cojones to stand in my way.  This is how I like to think about it:  My intimidation was my incubator, and the realization of it's irrational nature was the catalyst that set me free.

Kindof neat, huh?

So now I want you all to do something.  The next time you're intimidated, I want you to admit it to yourself, and then literally ask yourself why you feel that way.  Odd's are that you won't be able to come up with a logical answer to that question.  I find that whenever I do this, I almost immediately gain an overwhelming sense of courage.

Go ahead, try it out.

I dare you.